My name is Hotaru
by purplehotaru
Summary: People take one look at me, and they think they know everything about me. They dont know annything. You dont know annything, another side of Hotaru we havent seen


*Disclaimer* ok I have to write this so you guys don't sue me. And if you did, I'd have nothing to give you. I'm sorry to say I do not own hotaru tome, sailor moon or any of the characters mentioned in this story, and if I did id be one happy can of coconut juice.  
  
*Note* some of the little stuff about hotaru's life comes both from the anmie as well as the manga.  
  
Hello. My name is Hotaru. Hotaru Tomoe. It means, "fire-fly". My father named me. Or at least the man my father used to be. After the accident, daddy was not the daddy I knew. I go to Infinity College, in the 6th grade.  
People take one look at me, and they think they know everything about me. They see me wearing long sleeves and black tights all year round. They see me walk slowly, they see me trip and fall. They watch me sit alone at lunch. They make bets on how many times I will collapse on my walk home. They think they know, but they don't know. You think you know but you don't know.  
They don't know my body is half human and half machine. It is a collaboration of intellect and science. It is a union of man and machine. I died in an accident, which I will explain later. Daddy remade me, but I am just an experiment. I am his desperate attempt to save me. My body is already beginning to fall apart. I wear black tights all the time, even in summer. It is my own attempt to hide my cold bloodless body.  
I have glimpsed upon more in 12 short years than most will ever see in a lifetime. I watched my mother burn up in a fire. I was only 8 when it happened. Daddy took my mother and me to his laboratory. I remember it all so clearly but still bits are a mystery I don't think I will ever know. But it was the last happy day I had  
Daddy was carrying me. In my hands I had a little pinwheel that mommy bought me from a toy vendor on the street. I watched the colors whorl around as I held my arm out for it to catch a blowing gust of wind. Daddy carried me to the labs of the Tokyo bay center. One of the machines caught on fire and there was a big explosion, every thing was on fire. My mamma was screaming and calling my name she was screaming..." Hotaru! Hotaru!" I didn't know what to do. The fire was so hot, I curled up and cried. Mama was still screaming for me. I don't remember anything after that, but I know it was the last time I ever saw Mama. When I woke up I was 11 years old, and my life was never the same.  
I desire more than any thing to go back to those happy days. All I feel now is pain. Daddy is a different man now. He is always in his lab doing creepy research; please don't tell any one. I'm always alone. Its not like I'd ever have any friends to play with. I don't mind being by myself al the time. But some times I really wish I had someone to talk to.  
I should tell you that there's some one inside of me. Some one who does bad things, and I cant control what they do. Sometimes I will collapse and pass out. Then some body else takes control of my body. My voice becomes deep and my eyes turn gray. Sometimes I hurt people, but I can't remember any of it.  
When I was 9 I had a gold fish named Bubbles. I loved bubbles so much, but I killed him. I had woken up in a pile of broken glass and water, and Bubbles was dead. My clothes were covered in broken glass and water. I couldn't remember what happed. I cried out begging to know who did this to my bubbles. Kaori our housemaid came in and scolded me saying I was being silly. She said I was the one who did it. She yelled at me to clean it up. How come I couldn't remember anything?  
Another time when I came to school I saw my friend Billy with his arms and forehead wrapped in bandages. I ran up to him. And asked what happened. I saw a look of terror in his eyes and he ran away from me. All the kids were looking at me like I was some sort of ugly dog. "She hurts someone and pretends nothing happened," they all said.  
I finally made a friend, her name was Rrini. I told her to stay away from me because I was afraid I would hurt her. But she wouldn't go. She was willing to put her life at risk for me to be happy. We were such great friends. She was the only person who didn't think I was wired. And for once I wasn't alone all the time I was happy. But like every thing that makes me happy, it doesn't last. I killed her. I killed my only friend. I will never forgive myself for what I did. I should have stopped myself from seeing her. I guess maybe I'm not meant to be happy. You should go to. Soon I wont be myself any more. 


End file.
